Hola, mis amigos!

I have returned! I also have no earthly idea what I just wrote up top, but it sounded good at the time.

So I went to the movies the other day and saw this musical about a bunch of miserable people, or something. I don't see what the big deal was, but it did have the Catwoman lady, and best of all, it was in all three colors! I just about peed my seat! I didn't though. I peed on the usher. And the trash can. And the movie display, popcorn bucket, exit sign, around the toilet, the sink, the towels. Pretty much everywhere BUT my seat.The toilet is for DRINKING after all!

It was an ok movie, even though I can't remember anything about it. There WAS a lot of popcorn to clean up afterwards! My favorite! And juju bees, and snow caps, and swedish fish! I was so happy, I came home and did my happy dance! I danced so long, I had to take nap in my favorite position.

 Then I got up to pee again, and had to take another nap.

Then it was time to get up and go to bed.

Ah, the life of a dog! It's good! Toilet water, stale popcorn, and a good bowel movement and I am in heaven! Oh, and a good rub behind the ears! And bum. You know, just to get the leg going.

Well, you all know what time it is. Writing these blogs really takes it out of me, so I am going to hit the hay! Another day of eating and naps awaits me tomorrow, or naps and craps as I like to call it!

Until next time,
Poodles!

Boris

Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen!

I am back! Just thought that I would tell you a little about my Vet visit from the other day!

First off, I have not, am not, and probably never will be a veteran of a foreign war, engagement, or affair, unless you include the squirrel I chased up a tree in my neighbors yard. So I don't understand why we were at a "Vet's" office. I did meet a very nice three legged lady dog who had had cancer and been hit by a car. Maybe that's what they meant by veteran.

Anyway, as you all know by now, I am not your average dog. I have a good grasp of proper English, I can enunciate my barks, I am a dapper gentleman when it comes to the ladies  ( I do NOT use the "B" word), and I sit down like a person. Boom!

 














The office was pretty busy. I did see many of the enemy come in, a.k.a cats, and I've got to say, I feel I really restrained myself from any hostility. Ok, so maybe I ran up to one or two of them, shoved my huge head in their face, and barked until they clawed their way up their humans leg, but, hey, what is a human leg for if not a makeshift scratching post or substitute for the opposite sex? Just saying.

It went well with the doctor, except for all the poking and prodding, especially the thermometer. But I did get a bunch of treats afterward! Then we casually strolled back to the car, and when my dad finally picked himself up off the ground and yelled at me for pulling him too fast, ( I did say CASUAL stroll, right!) we took a calm ride in the car. Apparently, though, it is NOT a good thing to try to learn how to drive when the car is moving, hence I was banished to the back seat, where I got my revenge by drooling on all the windows and leaving a silent but deadly reminder of who is the REAL boss around here!

The rest of the day was spent napping until bedtime, which is my favorite activity, and occasionally giving puppy eyes to my parents to get more food.  I also love food. Go figure.

But enough for today, I need to take my nap before bed. I will talk to all of you soon!
Happy dreams!

Boris

Hello,

How are you wonderful people today? I am doing good, myself, thank you. Starting a blog to pass the time while I am in recovery. 

Just a little about myself.  I am a German Rottweiler mix. I am 2' 8" tall, or 5' 2" on my hind legs. I am 3 and a half years old, or between 17 and 312 in dog years. Sorry, I am not good at math. I am a DOG after all! My parents just took me to the doctor and found out that I need to get knee surgery, kind of like your ACL surgeries that some of your famous athletes get. Like RG3(#buttscooting). That hack. I could hump every linebackers leg, pee on every wide receiver, and be in the end zone by the time that mutt could say "Hike". But I bet they don't stick a thermometer up HIS butt to get a temperature! And they don't even let me smell it afterwards!

Getting back to the blog, my parents gave me a WIFI connection and a new tablet so I could watch YouTube and stuff. And a paw-sized keyboard. And a rawhide. And a bed near the garbage can!

Let me just start by saying this: I haz cheezberger! What the heck! Why are dogs portrayed as dim-witted heathens with a propensity to sniff poo and get beat by cats in everything! I am appalled! We are going to change that! One dog at a time. Below, you will find a self pic of my glowing face! Enjoy!

Anyway, I will be posting on my blog every day or so to update you on my progress.Pictures also will be forthcoming of some of my favorite positions and people. But for now, aufiderzein!

Boris